Working on loving myself

As part of the healing process, my therapist would like to me to try to work on loving myself more. He noticed as I was talking about various things, that I don't have a lot of respect for myself. He suggested a few exercises to work on liking myself a bit more. First, he suggested reflecting on what I like about myself.

• I like to think that I am a good listener
• I like to help people
• I like to make people laugh

That's about all I've got for that. Hmm, I see what he means. Even he listed more positive attributes about me than I did just now. His next suggestion was to ask some friends or family to list a good characteristic or two about me. I asked a few of my friends for their opinions and their responses were overwhelming.

• You're always there to listen
• You make the time to check on people, if people are in need, they don't need to go far
• You're sympathetic and understanding towards situations and people
• You're always on the move, you keep up with the pace of the world, even if it's stressful
•  You are not simple minded and always have something going on
• You volunteer your time and efforts towards secondary causes all the time: people, charities, volunteer work, etc
• You love unconditionally
• Your thoughtfulness - I found a mini scrapbook you made me from high school with pictures and funny stories that we had together. It's special to me to have it and those memories
• You are always willing to help and usually are smiling, even if you hate it
• Your laugh is wonderful!
• You are very mindful or the wants/needs/feelings of others. I'm always amazed by what you remember about what others say, they like, or don't like, or memories. I always want to be more like you and be cognizant of what others say because it's always really touching when you bring up something that I said a long time ago or something like that
• You are dependable. There is no one else I know I can go to for anything, no matter how crazy or ridiculous it is. You accept me and care for me even at my worst.  So it isn’t just a matter of dependable, because a lot of people are dependable.  You go beyond that, to the point that I know if my life depended on it, I could count on you.
• You are trustworthy.  Similarly, I know I can trust you with whatever I am going through, good or bad, and you will support me. 
• You are so unbelievably caring.  To so many people.  I know this from personal experience but also from the way you interact with others. I admire how much you care and dedicate yourself to others so much. 
• Seriously you are hilarious. You are such a joy to be around.  I mean, I am not a funny person but when I’m with you I feel like I’m funny because you make me funny!  You draw out the best in people, making them feel comfortable, like they can open up to you.
• You are self-aware, reflective, and non-judgmental.

One of these people suggested I write down what they say as well, so I can go back to them in times where I feel weak and unloving. I can't even thank these four people enough for their kind words and the time they took to help me with this part of the process. My therapist developed what is called the Fear - Love model and gave me a copy of it. I carry it around with me to remind myself that I want to be on the "Love" side of the model, not the "Fear" side. On the model, there's a list of characteristics on each side. Right now I am 75% under fear. Yikes. That's not good. It's time to change and adjust myself to be more on the love side.

Hopefully this is just step one and I will keep working towards it!

Thanks, friends, for reading these past few posts and not being too disappointed that I'm not posting all of the plant/work/project stuff at the moment. I actually have a plant post on my mind. I'll get that up soon!